The Girl He Loved
by 7thheavengirl08
Summary: A short glimpse into Stephan's thoughts during the Season 5 finale. One-shot.


Stefan's heart ached as he heard the girl he loved mourn for the man that she loved. He wished that there were something he could do, something he could say, to take away her pain, but he knew that nothing could take away the pain of losing someone that you loved so deeply. It hurt to see her so broken, and it hurt even more to know that it was his fault.

It had been one week since Damon had died while trying to save Stefan's life, although those two weeks had seemed like an eternity. He had been on the Other Side and Damon had died to bring him back. Only it wasn't supposed to turn out like this. Damon was supposed to be there now. "If it hadn't been for those stupid twin witches…" Stefan thought.

Stefan remembered watching Damon, Caroline, and Elena mourn him when he was dead. It had hurt to see their faces and to watch their reactions when they found out that Enzo had killed him, that he was trapped on the collapsing Other Side. He knew how they'd felt now. Only, the difference was, they'd had hope. They'd had a plan. They'd had a way to save him. Now there was no hope, no plan, no way to save Damon. There was just grief and emptiness.

Elena blamed him for Damon's death. He knew that. He could see it in her eyes when he looked at her. He was the reason why Damon went on the suicide mission, and he was the one who had told Elena to pass through over to the real world without Damon. He had promised her that he would wait on him. To be fair, it was Bonnie who had grabbed a hold of Elena, forcing Elena to pass through her, but Bonnie was dead now, too.

He hadn't meant to pass through when he did. He had only been trying to help Bonnie; she had been falling and he had just instinctively reached out to catch her, not thinking about what the consequences would be. He would never forget the look on Elena's face when she had seen him reappear in the real world. It was one of surprise, then hope, then anger, and then, finally, despair.

He had been standing outside the Salvatore family vault that night when Bonnie told Elena that it was too late, that Damon wouldn't be coming back. He had fled at the sound of Elena's sobs, overwhelmed by his own grief and guilt. Caroline had held him while he cried for what he had lost, but also for what his brother had lost. Damon had finally been happy; he had finally found true love. He had finally gotten the girl.

When Stefan had finally pulled himself together and gone back to the vault, he had intended to go in and comfort Elena, but he had frozen at the sound of her sobs. He had never heard her cry like that, not even when Jeremy had died. He had heard her heartbreaking cry asking Damon to come back to her, knowing that because of him, Damon could never come back. He had jumped when Alaric had come up behind him and squeezed his shoulder before going into the fault to comfort Elena. He was grateful that Alaric had been able to do what he couldn't, which was to move past his own grief of losing Damon to be there for Elena.

When Jeremy had run into the cemetery screaming Bonnie's name, and Alaric and Elena had exited the vault to see what was happening, Stefan had thought that maybe Elena would be able to get through losing Damon after all. But he had been wrong. Losing Bonnie, her best friend and her last connection to Damon, just after losing the love of her life had been too much for her. She had fallen to the ground, sobbing, as Alaric held her. He had watched as Alaric had picked her up and carried her to Jeremy's car. Even Jeremy had temporarily set aside his own grief for Bonnie out of worry for his sister. Stephan had wanted to move; he wanted to help Elena, but instead he had remained frozen where he stood, his own heart breaking, not just from losing his brother, but from watching the girl that he and his brother had both loved be consumed by heartbreak.

They had all gone back to the Forbes's cabin that night. They'd had nowhere else to go due to the anti-magic spell in Mystic Falls. Alaric had carried a sleeping Elena into the master bedroom. Jeremy had pulled back the covers and then covered his sister up once Alaric had set her down on the bed. Stefan had watched from the doorway as Caroline had brushed Elena's hair from her face which was stained with tears. He had heard the sobs still escaping from Elena's lips as she slept. Every time she sobbed, his heart had broken a little more.

Every day for the past week was the same routine. Alaric or Jeremy would sit with her at night while she slept, staying there to comfort her when she awoke in terror, screaming Damon's name. Every morning, Caroline would go in and try to get Elena to drink some blood, and every morning, Elena would refuse. She stayed in the bedroom, alternating between crying and sleeping. Neither Caroline nor Alaric had been able to convince her to feed since Damon's death. Stefan had tried as well, but she had refused to even look at him.

Caroline kept trying to reassure him that Elena wouldn't stay mad at him forever, but he didn't believe her. He wasn't even sure that Caroline believed it herself. Even if Caroline was right, Stefan couldn't stay there, listening to the girl that he loved mourn for the man that she loved. He had to leave; he had to stop loving her. It was only right, after all. He needed to stop loving Elena. He couldn't love his brother's girl anymore, not when he was the reason Damon was dead.


End file.
